Poetry of sorts....

Some of you may know, not all may remember--that I like to write. I think if speaking were writing--the regular, normal, everyday, every second type of communication--I would feel much more free to be than I do. It's just a more expressive way for me. The walls can come down a bit for others to peek in. I usually enjoy writing stories...but sometimes a poem or two will become my muse. Poetry to me is like abstract art. As the "artist" of the poem, what one writes is very personal and has a specific message, but as others see the "art," it can become different things for different people.

I wrote a poem many years ago that for some reason, has been coming back to mind a lot lately. I hope to seek God's heart earnestly enough to find out why, but I thought I'd leave it on "display" for your own interpretation:

I vow to Thee
patient I will be,
not contesting Thy time for me.
waiting still,
my hand you fill,
with Thine unto eternity.

Shalom.

ZAPITO, my Bandito

Well, a couple of weeks ago, it finally happened. It was a stormy night. No one was sleeping very well--lots of lightening and rain. And then Zap--all the power went out--including the power on our ill computer who won't turn on once turned off. And this time, no amount of prayer was helping it-we put it to rest. Except my hubby has not been able to transfer any files because he has been gone almost 1/2 the month traveling for various work obligations. Thus, I haven't been able to recover "my favorites" that stores all my favorite blogs. I feel out of the loop! Our newest family member--the computer--to which I unfortunately spend more time with than my kiddos some days, came just a few days ago. He's new and still kind of "naked", but we're learning to work together.

Meanwhile, the rest of us have spent our non-computer time reading what I think is the funniest, crack-me-up, wittest type of books: Skippyjon Jones!!! Amigos, you got to readito because if you don'tito, you won't know what you are missing outito--just read Skippito! That is, if you have kids who can laugh with you and you have a really groovy Spanish accent--you'll need it or you'll just sound like a white gringo trying to sound like you want a Spanish accent.

As soon as I have the ability to get some pictures up--you'll be hearing about(and seeing): my daughter and her play and Max's soccer game. My son and his Peter Pan fighting adventures. My other son and his general goofiness and his many animals.

So....stayed tuned!

We're back from our alien adventure!

If you've felt like you haven't caught up with our life lately, it's because we haven't caught up with our life lately! Call it laziness, call it business, call it being sick too much, call it being sucked up on an alien adventure--I'm not really sure which wins. But, unless I have a deadline and am right up against it, sometimes it just doesn't get done! It's a good thing we have people over to our house every week so I have to make sure my house is in decent order!!

Here's a synopsis of our past months: new year's came and no one got sick--at least not on new year's--all the kids have seen the doctor more than once, I had the flu once, Kyra had the flu twice, Mark had the flu once, are boys escaped with only fevers and coughs and other fun stuff. The conversations around our house include: "mom, I goed" (potty); "knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Bobo." "Bobo who?''; "We've got the best of both worlds...."; "M-A-X"(you'd think he was part of this family); "Poo Poo and Pee Pee"(with lots of laughter); "Stop whining"; "Mom how bout we cuddle"; "I go to Bobo house sometime-I go Nonna and Grandpa's house sometime"; "Can I have a sheet of paper?"; "go Keagy, go Keagy..."; "Meow, Baaaa, elephant sound(for my son who has multiple animal personalities); "I fight you"; "Mom, be monster and chase us"; "Kleenex"; "Treat please"; "Cuz I do"; "I just being silly"; "Keagan-stop copying me!"

Let's hope I can get this blog thing working and actually post this thing. If I can, I'll try and be back soon!

Oh, the weather outside is delightful.....

Ok, it's just now starting to get cooler. I haven't blogged for so long because my seasonal clock has been off a bit. But, I checked the calendar today, and it said it was December 3rd. Wow! I've been running outside with shorts and a t-shirt up until a few days ago....and since I haven't ran since then, I can't give an update.

So, beyond keeping all the nasty spiders alive that should be dying off, I'll take it. I don't miss bitter cold. We'll see if I miss snow. The kids have asked for snow a few times, but I told them we could have it at their grandparents house.

We still hang out inside our home too. We've got three creative kids that always find something to do...

He demands It

My BSF teacher said something this past week that I think is worth consideration.

She said, "Knowing Jesus is King demands a response."

Since hearing that, I've been asking myself some questions(actually, I'm thinking of them as I write, so if I haven't been asking them, I am now) maybe you can ask yourself the same.

I have no stones in my hand here.

There is NO middle ground. None. If you know Jesus is King, then you are constantly responding to Him, one way or the other--He demands it.

Do I really love others well? Not just I say I do but certain things really get to me about that person or I only do because I feel obligated to type of love. I can fake actions, but I can't fake heart. He demands a response.

Do I really what to live out a life for Him? What does that mean? Am I uncomfortable? Because I'm pretty sure God doesn't want us to be comfortable. I'm pretty sure Paul wasn't comfortable while in prison. I'm pretty sure John the Baptist wasn't comfortable living on locust and honey. Comfort is Satan's plan--not Gods. If I am still in the same box, sitting with the same like minded people, not stretching myself to get out of it and meet the tax collectors of this world, then I'm pretty convinced I'm too comfortable. He demands a response.

Do I blame God or do I desire God? Am I living each day, with bitterness because I don't have the life like so and so. Am I tired and weary and taking that out on my family? Look--truth is, life is hard--it is messy. And I sure as I could name many names of those whose life looks better than mine, I could name more whose doesn't. Blaming God for my daily strife--my life-long strife--gets me only as far as that blame will take me. Desiring God--amidst it--well, that takes me to God. Who is bigger than me. Who can help me rise above it--or accept it--or understand it. He demands a response.

Am I really wanting love from God or seeking love from others to fulfill me? Don't get me wrong--having loving relationships is essential. I need it. And I struggle a lot with the feelings of failure in giving and failure in receiving love. But until I stop. Until I say He--He is enough--then it doesn't matter how loved or unloved I may feel by others. Bottom line--those who love me--really love me (like my hubby) will never be enough. And those who "don't" love like I'd hope they would, can not be a thermostat for me to live my life. I know this--so why do I go there? Who fulfills me? He demands a response.

I think I could continue, but it is way late and we have had a LONG week.

Whether you've known God is King for a long time--or are just beginning to understand what that means--remember (as I am trying to) that whatever you chose to do, is a response. Laziness, procrastination, non confrontation out of fear, staying safe, are still responses.

Let's be more real with one another--let's be more real with God. Knowing that Jesus is King demands a response.

Do the Words Mommy and Appreciate Go Together?

I've heard many moms say that one reason motherhood is hard is because the feeling of being appreciated, or maybe even "loved" by their children is well, rather sparse. Kids are basically on a "needs" based plan--I need it, you get it. I need a drink, I need my diaper changed, I need a new backpack for school, I need you to make cookies for my class, I need.... Sure, it may be followed by a "thank you" once done, but we don't count on it and often times, it may only come with prompting.
I have to admit, that does happen in my home. Maybe more than I realize. But to be completely honest, my kids are really good at helping me feel appreciated. My kids are in the "I'll stick with you club." Granted their benefits are great (they get fed, a bed, and an occasional treasure from Walmart). But, their loyalty it unfailing. When I'm tired, they still try to make me laugh. When I'm sad, they offer me hugs and kisses. When I'm frustrated, they still love me when it subsides. Whether it's Cayden's unsolicited hug and kiss, Kyra's kind words and pictures, or Keagan's "look" of love with a sweet smile, I have to say that I often feel those moments of appreciation.
Granted, I know that my children will continue to grow. And someday, this all will change. They won't "need" me anymore, and therefore, they will invest in different loves and relationships. The way I may or may not feel appreciated, will too, change.
But, I'm choosing to look at my now. I'm choosing to cling to what gift God has given me in this time. Tomorrow, as He says, will worry about itself. And it's when I consider these things that I remember how far a feeling of being appreciated can take you.

BOBOCYCLE

Bobo came to visit this weekend--decided to make the trip on his motorcycle(which the kids call Bobocylces) despite the great chances of rain. Bobo gave us all rides(mini, safe, and slow rides) on his bike. Cayden, who we had to wake up from a nap so he could have his turn, decided to be cranky instead of cooperative, so his chance will have to wait. But, we had about a 45 minute break in constant heavy rains in which to get it done. We sure miss having grandparents close. Cayden, in fact, has been crying for Bobo for days since. He will wake up much too early in the morning crying for his Bobo. Yesterday, he said, "Bobo hold me," and started crying when I told him Bobo wasn't here. Nice to know you're missed I guess, but sometimes even though great, a weekend is not quite enough....

By the way, if any of you are wondering, you can eat a 64 piece tray of Chick-fil-a nuggets in a short amount of time with only about 3 people participating in the feast. Some might claim they ate about 30 of them himself, but that is simply not true. Whoever claims that decided to begin eating while the more selfless individual was getting meals and such ready for the small children involved in the matter!